With the terminal illness of QPR's relegation now over, C is quick to assess the size of the task ahead for Tony Fernandes and Co. this Summer...
QPR = QUICK PREMIER RELEGATION. Well we should have known last Summer when we robbed Derby County of their Premier League place and the budget we had was spent in the wrong areas and on too few players. Kidding ourselves that Loic Remy would stay a Hoop didn't help either (though I reckon he privately wishes he did now - look forward to seeing him follow in Demba Ba's footsteps and heading for Turkey - Chelsea FC: ruining careers and world football with dirty Russian rubles since 2003). As it happens, I much prefer the Championship; give me cold away Tuesday nights at Rotherham over £60 tickets to Arsenal away and half and half scarves for Chelsea and "Q P Rangers" any day!!!
This is all a bit raw having had to put up with watching game after game of defeat, including today's mauling at City, which, by the way, was pathetic. But I've taken the "Child playing Football Manager for the first time" approach to my planning for life in the Championship.
For Sale (regrettedly)
Two names on everybody's lips in this category are Charlie Austin and Matty Phillips, and I think it's fair to say that their ambitions plus the need to rebuild a near entire team will lead to the inevitable sale of both of them given the prices they would fetch in today's market.
Charlie Austin - Liverpool, £14m plus Rickie Lambert
The biggest loss this Summer will be the man without whose goals QPR would be even worse off than the last time they were a Premier League side. Seventeen goals in this team in a struggling season show just how good a marksman this guy is and there is no way that will have gone unnoticed by the rest of the league. He has proved at every level he has played at that he has that goalscoring knack, and the good news is that because he is English we should get a sizeable fee for him. My suggestion is that a team on the fringes of European football will be his destination and despite dealings with Tottenham having been frequent following invasion of their mafia at the top of the club in recent seasons, I can see Liverpool being a more favourable destination for him.
Liverpool do, of course, have a potential small sweetener for the deal in Rickie Lambert, who is getting on a bit but a bit younger and more nimble than Bobby Zamora, and a decent penalty taker too. I think Rangers should bring him in to the deal to ensure that one of the starting eleven berths in the Championship is filled. Will he drop down a level though? Depends if Uncle Tony can sweet talk him over a game of FIFA.
Matty Phillips - West Brom, £4m
Matty Phillips will feel that up until Chris Ramsey's appointment he was being overlooked and unloved by the fans. He showed glimpses of what he could do but rarely could string together a coherent performance. Since the turn of the year he's been a revelation, the top assist provider in the Premier League. I think he will use the remaining two fixtures to put himself in the shop window and the club will not and should not stand in his way when an opportunity arises this Summer.
Robert Green - Chelsea, £1m
He has saved many points for QPR and his kicking continues to be his main weakness, but I think Rob is at the stage in his career where he'd fancy a squad role at a top club, much like the Mark Schwarzer job at Chelsea, who have indicated they would be interested in a new number three (possibly even number two if Petr Cech continues to get restless behind Courtois). Meanwhile QPR will promote Alex McCarthy to being the main man between the sticks in his absence. I do rate 'Greeno' as a shot-stopper but I do think it's time for a younger man to take on the mantle.
In addition to these three, we know that Mauricio Isla and Eduardo Vargas will be heading back to their parent clubs and I see very little persuading them to return. I don't think it would be appropriate anyway.
Niko Kranjcar will also bid farewell to QPR at the end of the season and now that Harry's gone I can't see him signing again. I suspect you'd get good odds on him following Harry Redknapp to the Cherries (once he joins Bournemouth as Director of Football, that is).
For Sale at whatever price (I'll drive them to their next club)
Junior Hoilett - Hannover 96, £1m
This guy has been such a let down since signing from Blackburn, where he was all the rage, had "pace to burn" and "wanted by top European clubs". The amount of times I've screamed at him to beat his man or to clear the first man with a cross is unparalleled with any other winger since I've been attending QPR games. He is genuinely toilet. Only someone outside this country wouldn't know that, hence why I suggest we tout him to the Bundesliga where I understand he is rated because of two successful loan spells out there a few years back. I'll happily do the negotiations for the club so that we scrape a seven figure sum for him.
Steven Caulker - Watford, £3m
In my mind, all three of QPR's big money signings last Summer were huge disappointments. With Mutch already moved on (and rightly so) I think that Fer and Caulker will also head out of the revolving door at Loftus Road. An £8m signing that looked exactly like what we should have been going for last Summer has not delivered to expectation in the slightest. So many of the 70 odd goals QPR have conceded this season have been partly or fully preventable, and more often than not reports would state "Caulker should have". An error-strewn year coupled with his own career aspirations appear to spell the end of the big man's QPR career.
Seeing as Matthew Connolly was only on loan at Watford for the season and every time he has been part of a promotion-winning defence he has been sold immediately back to the Championship, I think that Caulker will continue to appeal to the market, as a young England potential centre back that will come good trading off of a good season at Swansea and a couple of appearances at Spurs. In reality his spells at Cardiff and QPR in particular have revealed his many shortcomings. As such Watford appears an ideal destination for the centre half.
Leroy Fer - Feyenoord, £2m
Marketed last Summer to QPR fans as the marquee signing, the "box to box midfielder" that would wear the number ten shirt reserved for special players at QPR down the years, the Dutchman has been a major let down. Whilst he undoubtedly has an excellent shot on him, he has had a lazy season and just not tried hard enough nor looked interested enough whilst donning the hoops.
Having had a dabble in English football and flattered to deceive, I think Leroy will look to go back to the division in which he made his name, possibly even the club he was playing for back there.
Armand Traore - Caen, £350k
I'm unsure how Traore has stayed at QPR so long, especially after Crystal Palace's offer was reportedly accepted last Summer. I will never forget when Warnock had to give Traore a lecture on throw-ins at the Emirates after his repeated foul throws throughout his QPR career up to that point. He clearly has no defensive ability whatsoever and is best off in a left midfield role, which is where I hoped QPR would start playing him after it was revealed he would be staying. He has a good crossing ability that was largely untapped at QPR (apart from at the Etihad that famous day in 2012). But he is injury prone, not pacey enough and inconsistent. And absolutely NOT a defender in a million years.
He may actually be out of contract and I don't know it, but put it this away, it's time to say Au Revoir to Armand. I see a ferry trip to Caen who will take him upon glancing at his CV and seeing Arsenal on it.
Sandro - Gremio, £1.5m
Sandro has shown QPR fans in fits and spurts just why he was so highly regarded at Spurs, and in equal measure why they were keen to move him on; for the amount of the Medical Team's time he took up! If he could stay fit he'd definitely be on the keep list.
Unbelievably it looks like we spent £6m plus on this guy and didn't check when his work permit was due to expire. A sign that there are a bunch of clowns behind the scenes at Loftus Road as well as on the pitch.
I predict he won't want to stay and will take the relegation as an opportunity to return to his home land.
Adel Taarabt - Inter Milan, £3m
A player that has often been hailed the messiah at QPR has eaten one too many take aways for my liking and clearly doesn't have the right mindset to be a professional footballer. We will always remember the amazing moments of brilliance in the Championship and the excellent goals against Arsenal and Tottenham in the survival season, but it's clear he doesn't really want to be here and we shouldn't keep giving ourselves false hope that he is the answer.
Suggest he will leave English football for a more laid-back low tempo game in Italy, settling for a bit part role at somewhere like Inter Milan.
Nedum Onuoha - Leicester City, £2m
Perhaps of the list above this was the hardest to rule on. The Chief has shown potential over his career at QPR and can be solid when in form. But this season he's had far too many off days and his performance versus Liverpool last weekend typified this. It's time to wave goodbye to him, but I think he'll remain a Premier League player.
Out of contract and not renewing
Rio Ferdinand - Match of the Day, Television pundit
Maybe it's because Anton didn't do anything for us but I sense that many QPR fans were underwhelmed when Rio pitched up at the club last Summer for a final pay day. It felt a bit like Shaggy bringing out another song to pay the bills, and much like Kranjcar it felt like Harry signing one of his old mates again.
Whilst enjoying god like status at Manchester United the man has benefited from a solid midfield in front of him throughout his career there and for England, so to be given a new setup where the line in front of him comprised Joey Barton and Karl Henry was always going to test whether Rio really had much in the way of defensive abilities beyond aerial prowess. He was dropped early on in the season following a series of jittery performances which confirmed the fans' suspicions.
Clint Hill - Tranmere Rovers, Assistant Manager
What a fantastic servant this man has been and I almost want to keep him around the club to try and rekindle the spirit of the 2010/11 promotion winning team. As it happens, I can see Clint returning to Scouseland and starting his badges at a club dear to his heart, Tranmere Rovers. Thanks for the memories, Clint.
Shaun Wright-Phillips - New York City, Free Transfer
I can recall one good performance from Shaun - his debut versus Newcastle under Warnock in 2011! He scored the winner at Chelsea in 2013 which of course deserves a mention but even in that game his contribution was limited. Other than that he appears to have been playing under hyponosis for four seasons where he loses all footballing ability and effort. In exchange, we've continued to give him 70,000 magic beans per week which has kept him happy at the club. Finally the four years of this parasite are up this Summer. Sod off, Shaun.
I predict he'll follow his brother Brad to America and given his cult status among Manchester Citeh fans I think he's guaranteed a job and nice long contract over at their American flavour outfit.
Joey Barton - Leeds United, Free Transfer
I think QPR needs an identity transplant, and as much as some of his performances and efforts have been admirable this season, this man is not what we want to be the symbol of Rangers going forward, and this chapter in QPR's history should be closed once and for all. I've heard rumours of Leeds having a bit of cash this Summer - sounds like a match made in heaven to me!
To keep
Well, this will be brief...
Alex McCarthy
Seems like the logical number one jersey holder for next season. He's a decent Championship goalkeeper and I'd say with Rob Green unlikely to be around next season that he is ready made to step in. We've not seen much of him yet at QPR but at Reading he showed he is a capable young man that should now get the chance to establish himself as QPR's Custodian for the next few seasons.
Yun Suk-Young
He's had a wretched four months having come back from injury completely out of form, but the performances earlier in this campaign have persuaded me we can still get the best out of the young Korean. He's clearly got potential and deserves a season of starting again.
Richard Dunne
Probably not as a first choice, but I just feel that it is important to have the Irishman around the club as he can offer a lot to the rest of the squad as a vastly experienced professional. His presence in the team was sorely missed when he was our injured and the team does need strong characters who have been there and done it before, but who are ultimate professionals. I cannot see a motive for him to move on himself at this stage in his career - especially as QPR took a chance on him when nobody else was prepared to do so after a injury-ravaged career at Villa.
Karl Henry
After a poor first season in the Championship for QPR, the Midfield Enforcer has actually had a relatively good season this time around when put into perspective. He does lack the ability to have a starring role and definitely is not a Premier League player, however I think he's got the right mindset and some Championship know-how that leads me to conclude he is worth hanging on to next season in that division. Not an essential, but I can think of more reasons to keep him than not, plus there are few suitors that would pay the fee I would take for him (£400k plus).
Alejandro Faurlin
Having kept faith in this man following a series of serious injuries, QPR will I'm sure keep hold of the Argentinean who was so consistent in the 2010/11 promotion winning season. A good pre-season and a few prayers for the man and I'm convinced he can roll back the years and feature prominently in the Championship.
Summer wish list
Assuming a budget of £17m for Summer transfers can be raised by these sales, here are four of my suggestions for inbounds to join Rickie L:
Matthew Lowton, Aston Villa, £1m
A player capable of the odd wondergoal and senior enough now to be a first choice Championship right back rather than settle for a squad rotation role at Villa, who I'm sure will look to move on from their Paul Lambert ethos of buying in youth from the Football League and look to experience to stop their annual flirtation with relegation.
Tom Ince, Hull City, £3m
Rumoured to be a Rangers target last Summer, this man hasn't quite lived up to his billing in the Premier League but has consistently proved he is well equipped to deliver in the Championship. He should be available at a reasonable price and I'm convinced he is an able replacement for Phillips.
Bakary Sako, Wolves, Free
Out of contract this Summer, Sako has consistently appeared on the scoring charts wherever he has played and QPR were certainly making enquiries in January. J only knows too well the capabilities of the Wolves striker. I think he's a different kind of forward to that which QPR have had in recent years and would be a welcome addition. Whether he could be persuaded to come here over anywhere else is a different matter.
Demarai Gray, Birmingham, Free*
The very talented winger has been credited with many of the plaudits for turning Birmingham's season around under Gary Rowett and he has scored some excellent goals during that time.
It is my understanding that he is available this Summer but as he is a youth player compensation would be due to Blues.
This would almost certainly go to tribunal - but for an exciting 18 year old winger? Well worth the hassle!
The Manager
Many QPR fans will tell you that they think we have played better football under Chris Ramsey. Well yes we've scored some more goals and not looked quite as toothless on the road, but when you look at all the other clubs that were in the relegation mire that changed their manager mid season, Ramsey has delivered the poorest results. No team has been worse than QPR in the Premier League in 2015, which speaks volumes. The Home performances in particular, a major feature in the pre Christmas revival of QPR, have completely dried up. The amount of chances created in the winnable games like West Ham have just not been comparable to that period, and the worrying lack of energy in the last ten minutes has paralysed us throughout the season and remained unrectified under Ramsey.
So who is the right man for the job?
Paul Clement
Real Madrid's highly regarded coach was linked with the QPR job in January but I think there was no real truth in it. However the man is the son of a QPR legend and would certainly be the fans' choice. His brother Neil enjoyed his many visits to Loftus Road in his career with fans breaking out in to rousing applause. He is credited for being Ancelotti's tactical right hand man and I'm sure would fancy a job in the English game in a managerial hotseat somewhere. Given the success in English football that managers who in previous lives have been assistants at top Spanish clubs, can you blame me for wanting to see a bit of Iberian flair on the pitch at Loftus Road?
